🎙️ "Rock bottom was wanting to die": Author & Media Leader Zoe Marshall on Surviving Her Darkest Chapter

🖋️ A word from our editor…

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what to write about this episode, and honestly, I keep coming back to the same thing: this is one of the most vulnerable, generous, and moving conversations we’ve had on No Business Being A Castano.

Zoe Marshall opens up in a way that’s hard to describe—raw but grounded, reflective but clear-eyed. She talks about losing her mum, surviving abuse, hitting rock bottom, and slowly rebuilding a life that actually feels like her own. It’s not easy listening at times, but it’s honest in a way that cuts through.

There’s a moment where she says: “We have to feel our pain. We have to express our pain. So we move through it and we learn from it.”

That stuck with me. I thought about all the times I’ve bottled things up, let stress spill over into the wrong places, or felt lost but kept pushing through. Zoe puts words to things a lot of us carry but don’t always know how to say.

You don’t have to be a parent, or a survivor, or even in a relationship for this to resonate. If you’ve ever questioned yourself, or wondered if you're allowed to change, this conversation will stay with you. Hope it lands for you the way it landed for me.

— Hao Nguyen, Editor

❤️ “We have to feel our pain. We have to express our pain. So we move through it and we learn from it.”

When Zoe Marshall says this, it’s not abstract advice—it’s lived truth. On No Business Being A Castano, Zoe sits down with Amy Castano for one of the most vulnerable conversations the show has had to date. They talk about grief, toxic relationships, healing, and the hard work of living a life that actually feels like yours.

For Zoe, it started with the loss of her mother. “Me and my mum… I was severely, anxiously attached to her as a child,” she says. Her mum worked two jobs, and they shared everything—including, eventually, a cancer diagnosis. “I knew the day that she told me, I knew that she was going to die.” Zoe was in her early twenties. Eighteen months later, she was gone.

What followed was a collapse. “I was incredibly vulnerable and was the perfect candidate for a very charismatic yet dangerous person who became my partner,” Zoe says. She’s open about the years of abuse that came next. “There was a lot of sexual trauma. There was physical abuse. Emotional abuse. It was an absolute nightmare.”

It took months to leave. And when she did, the pain was waiting. “When I got out was when the pain, like, truly hit,” she says. “This flood me and this wave of trauma.” At her lowest point, Zoe says she didn’t want to live. “The rock bottom was wanting to die. So desperately to be rid of the pain.”

But she didn’t. Instead, she started the slow climb back.

Along the way came therapy, reflection, and eventually, motherhood. Her healing has been complex and nonlinear—but it’s also given her clarity. “I want my son to grow up, especially with, you know, this epidemic of male suicide in our country, to know that all of this is okay. Like all of the feelings, all of it, none of it is shameful.”

She’s become fiercely protective of her energy. “I really love being alone so much,” Zoe says. “I’m holding space for myself so I can be all of this for everyone else.”

That clarity runs through her book Ariise, her podcast The Deep, and her views on self-development. She calls it co-creating: aligning your mindset, doing the work, and trusting the universe. “We're just coming home to ourselves. We get lost along the way.”

Zoe’s life now doesn’t look like what she imagined—but that’s the point. “I would just constantly hustle for more things. I was never satisfied. I was never present. And now I relish,” she says. “Like you and I—this is the most important moment for me right now. It’s us.”

It’s a reminder that healing isn’t a finish line—it’s a way of living. Quietly, deliberately, and on your own terms.

🎤 Spread the word & stay connected

• Tell a friend – Love these shows? Send this newsletter to a fellow podcast junkie!

• Follow us on social media for exclusive clips, behind-the-scenes content, and host Q&As.

• Reply to this email – We’d love to hear from you!